Senior Hockey Gamers: The 6 Levels

Observations on senior hockey gamers from an ageing defenseman

By Invoice Wagner

Beforehand printed. (This text initially seems on Beer League Inc. Take a look at their kick-ass podcast! They’re on iTunes, Google Play, and Spotify.)

Senior Hockey Gamers: The 6 Levels

Stage 1

Typically, a man contemporary out of juniors, faculty and even the minors. Nonetheless has that higher-level skill that each one groups search to win league championships. You’ll hear issues like “that man is sick”; “nice arms”; “bullet shot”; or “younger legs.” Doesn’t have a pot to piss in so don’t count on any monetary contribution from this man. In truth, you’ll be fortunate to ever see him deliver beer—or a towel to bathe with for that matter. Nobody cares, particularly the Stage 5 senior hockey gamers (see under).

Stage 2

That mid- to late-20s man. Been across the league for a couple of years and is beginning to discover ways to play as a senior hockey participant (really passing and never making an attempt to do it your self). Nonetheless has these “contemporary legs” and may very well have a job now, which is good. Hassle is brewing right here as a result of they both simply have or might be fascinated by getting married (see Stage 3). Might not at all times wish to, however has the power to pay his league price. May be counted on to deliver beer often as effectively. These are good occasions.

Protect yourself with a Neck Protection jersey

Stage 3

Normally in his early to mid-30s. Nonetheless has lots of skill however is cracking below the pressure of life. Children are younger and demanding, spouse is pissed that you’re gone an excessive amount of as it’s, and also you notice it’s a must to stand up for work within the morning. Going dwelling with a black eye or fats lip once more simply doesn’t go over effectively at that huge presentation you have got tomorrow. This man will decide to the workforce, pay the price, after which develop into typically unreliable. Typically you’ll hear “who’s the brand new man?” when he walks into the locker room after a couple of absences.

Stage 4

Uh oh, what occurred to my “silky mitts,” my “contemporary legs”? Why can I do know what to do however my physique can not do it anymore? These are exhausting occasions for many senior hockey gamers. You might be in your late 30s or early 40s and the crushing affect of life and ageing have lastly taken its toll. You’re in all probability closely concerned in teaching your children so these 10pm or later sport occasions are killers. You are inclined to do lots of apologizing—“Sorry about that objective, guys; my fault”; “Sorry, that was my man within the slot”; “Sorry, I shouldn’t have pinched once more that late within the sport.” You understand all of the common beer league excuses.

Stage 5

That is the mid- to late-40s man. His talents are fading quick and he is aware of it. Has cash and should even sponsor the workforce as a result of that’s actually the one manner they nonetheless allow you to play. He’ll deliver beer, meals; purchase jerseys—no matter it takes to hold on to that final fleeting second of glory enjoying with the higher guys. Was once the go-to man for the facility play or the “final minute of the sport” man, however now volunteers to sit down so the Stage 1 and a couple of guys can get on the market and win it. Has develop into a clutch-and-grab artist and a hack as a result of that’s the solely strategy to cease these younger children. It is a notably dangerous stage if you’re a goaltender. The minute you stroll out of the locker room, you understand the entire workforce is scheming of the way to get a brand new, youthful man in internet.

Stage 6

An finish and a starting on the similar time. That is the purpose the place it’s lastly time to maneuver to the “previous man” division and say goodbye to the “open” division without end. Children are grown; the spouse now not cares if you’re dwelling or not. Most likely enjoying on 3 or 4 groups simply to get out of the home. Sits and drinks beer with the fellas telling previous tales till the wee hours of the morning, as a result of he both doesn’t care what his boss thinks or is the boss. These are good occasions and your new dwelling till you resolve to hold them up utterly.

Closing Ideas

Anybody who performs or has performed the sport can absolutely perceive and recognize these phases. Irrespective of how good you’re or the place you performed, “All roads result in senior hockey” and that’s OK. Hockey is an incredible sport and there’s a league and degree for everybody, no matter age or skill.

I hope you all benefit from the sport as a lot as I’ve as a result of it has introduced many moments of pleasure to my life. I can inform you that successful that “35 and Over” championship feels simply pretty much as good as that huge match if you had been 9 or something in between. I salute all of my fellow senior hockey gamers on the market, younger and previous. Hold enjoying for the love of the sport and the lifelong friendships you’ll construct alongside the best way.

If you wish to take a stroll down reminiscence lane, do you remember these?